If I Stay - Gayle Forman (Book to Movie review)

May I just start off by saying that I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I first discovered this book. This series is my first Gayle Forman series (and I am ecstatic to read another, any recommendations?). This book was very hard for me to read, not because of a horrible plot or tasteless writing, but because it was easy to relate to, in such a way that you could put yourself in Mia’s shoes. That was what had killed me the most, to even imagine that kind of loss simply tore up my being. When I heard the book was to become a movie I literally stood still and asked myself if I was ready (in most cases I’m never ready for movie adaptations) it always feels so surreal when you see a book you love come to life. You then also feel anxious because you never know if it’ll be everything you imagine it to be, everything you want it to be. 

R.J. Cutler did a tremendous job. I am now a fan of his work. I know how hard it must’ve been to interpret the book as he did. It was more than you could have asked for, it presented characters with strong identities, warm relationships with both family and friends, emotional depth, complex themes, serious consideration and acknowledgement over what you’re supposed to do with your future, and an appreciation for the sheer beauty of everyday life. It makes you step back and think of all the blessings you have, all you have rather than what you wish you had. How time is literally of the essence, how there’s so little time in comparison to loss. Yeah, it’s one of those stories. 

I’m sure it was difficult to capture the internal dialogue presented in the book, but the screenwriter Shauna Cross and the director did a fantastic job of making the film dynamic and sincere, making you care and understand Mia’s story.

I will always have my own personal reservations towards what I wish could be done differently in the movie, for example: Teddy’s relationships with Mia and Adam we’re not highlighted. Mia’s parent’s relationship with Adam. Adam inviting the family to his concert (with Teddy). Little things that made a big impact on the story to me personally. However I already know and understand that with this small time-frame there was much more necessary detail to include to show you a romance pulls that at you, a story that guts you and a reminder to appreciate life all tied up in one package of tears. 

Thank you Gayle Forman. 

The Fault In Our Stars - Review-ish (Book and Movie.)

fair warning, you don’t have to agree with anything - just my THOUGHTS and OPINIONS. 

First of all, and I’ve said this religiously - Thankyou John Green for such a beautiful story with admirable characters who both made me fall in love and broke my heart. 

I read the books nearly 3 years ago, and I have never really gotten over it, and this movie clearly just brought back all the emotions I felt when I first read this book. I can’t even construct a proper sentence and I’m not even sure where to begin, so I’ll just write my thoughts down in point form/ no proper format because that is how shattered I am after watching the premiere. 

- I would have loved the movie 10x more if it weren’t for the overly extra “fan girls” who were excessively “crying” (moreso fake crying into an exaggerated amount of tissue, ps. there weren’t any tears either, just sobs really.) I don’t even care how bitchy that sounded, they ruined what was supposed to be an emotional thing for me… (as if that stopped me from bawling ANYWAY.)

- Shailene Woodley is doing everything right, (Divergent, TFIOS… Spiderman?) and I loved her as Hazel. I do however wish she looked more sick… I mean who looks that perfect, apparently she does. Her eulogy (pre-funeral) literally hit the spot. Shailene made me feel Hazel’s loss. It made feel like I was going through my own loss. I can literally cry out of no where just thinking about how I would feel if I was ever in Hazels position. 

- Ansel Elgort was the perfect Augustus Waters. Perfect. I didn’t expect myself to laugh as much as i did during the movie. (thank you Isaac as well) it was so clever and witty. Probably one of the many cutest scenes was the airplane scene. H: “Were just friends”….A: “I’m not, just her” (STOP). I really love how there wasn’t a lot of positive things being said about Ansel being Augustus because he isn’t the MOST attractive guy (mind you, he is VERY attractive), because he definitely blew me away as Augustus and I have no idea who could have pulled off the smug, comedic, hopeful, romantic that was Augustus. 

"Hazel Grace, tell me I have not reached the end of this book.
- I actually could not stop laughing at their cute flirty text messages (and I loved how they projected this in the movie) But a deeper look, his excitement shows how much he really put himself into a book that she loved, how he was willing to love or even appreciate what she had loved and appreciated. Compromise.

“I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.”
- I mean yes people can tell you they love you but can they really. So poetic and beautiful, and just one of those moments in the movie where you couldn’t help but squeal because I read it so many times in my head, but to hear it being said, to see the emotion/expression. To see her reaction, it felt so real. 

… I was thoroughly upset that they couldn’t include the entire letter that Gus wrote for Hazel, that Van Houten gave her at his funeral. But here it is: “Van Houten,
I’m a good person but a shitty writer. You’re a shitty person but a good writer. We’d make a good team. I don’t want to ask you any favors, but if you have time – and from what I saw, you have plenty – I was wondering if you could write a eulogy for Hazel. I’ve got notes and everything, but if you could just make it into a coherent whole or whatever? Or even just tell me what I should say differently.
Here’s the thing about Hazel: Almost everyone is obsessed with leaving a mark upon the world. Bequeathing a legacy. Outlasting death. We all want to be remembered. I do, too. That’s what bothers me most, is being another unremembered casualty in the ancient and inglorious war against disease.
I want to leave a mark.
But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. You build a hideous minimall or start a coup or try to become a rock star and you think, “They’ll remember me now,” but (a) they don’t remember you, and (b) all you leave behind are more scars. Your coup becomes a dictatorship. Your minimall becomes a lesion.
(Okay, maybe I’m not such a shitty writer. But I can’t pull my ideas together, Van Houten. My thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.)
We are like a bunch of dogs squirting on fire hydrants. We poison the groundwater with our toxic piss, marking everything MINE in a ridiculous attempt to survive our deaths. I can’t stop pissing on fire hydrants. I know it’s silly and useless – epically useless in my current state – but I am an animal like any other.
Hazel is different. She walks lightly, old man. She walks lightly upon the earth. Hazel knows the truth: We’re as likely to hurt the universe as we are to help it, and we’re not likely to do either.
People will say it’s sad that she leaves a lesser scar, that fewer remember her, that she was loved deeply but not widely. But it’s not sad, Van Houten. It’s triumphant. It’s heroic. Isn’t that the real heroism? Like the doctors say: First, do no harm.
The real heroes anyway aren’t the people doing things; the real heroes are the people NOTICING things, paying attention. The guy who invented the smallpox vaccine didn’t actually invent anything. He just noticed that people with cowpox didn’t get smallpox.
After my PET scan lit up, I snuck into the ICU and saw her while she was unconscious. I just walked in behind a nurse with a badge and I got to sit next to her for like ten minutes before I got caught. I really thought she was going to die, too. It was brutal: the incessant mechanized haranguing of intensive care. She had this dark cancer water dripping out of her chest. Eyes closed. Intubated. But her hand was still her hand, still warm and the nails painted this almost black dark blue and I just held her hand and tried to imagine the world without us and for about one second I was a good enough person to hope she died so she would never know that I was going, too. But then I wanted more time so we could fall in love. I got my wish, I suppose. I left my scar.
A nurse guy came in and told me I had to leave, that visitors weren’t allowed, and I asked if she was doing okay, and the guy said, “She’s still taking on water.” A desert blessing, an ocean curse.
What else? She is so beautiful. You don’t get tired of looking at her. You never worry if she is smarter than you: You know she is. She is funny without ever being mean. I love her. I am so lucky to love her, Van Houten. You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices. I hope she likes hers.
- I really don’t think that there is anything that needs to be said. This was beautifully written (Thanks John Green for the ridiculously high expectations I have now if I ever receive a letter from my boyfriend). In the movie, although shortened, it was beautifully presented. (THANKYOU SOUNDTRACK FOR ALSO MAKING ME CRY). It almost felt like he was talking about me, but that obviously makes no sense because duh. It’s the whole concept of it all though, somehow after that letter she made her fall in love with him even more, even after death and that in itself was infinity. It was never ending because even after, she was still finding new ways to love him him, through his memory and his love for her. 

- Hazel’s Eulogy scene was too much for me. I couldn’t stop the tears at this point. (Also I realize I’m stating all these different things out of order, sorry.) Like I said, I’ve read this book many times and although I read her Eulogy or even Gus’s letter to her all those times, I was never going to be prepared for hearing those words and seeing them being brought to life by these talented actors.“I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity”

- I get a little critical after a while and I guess the only thing worth mentioning is that I didn’t really like was how Augustus kind of just told Hazel he was sick and then he just got sick so suddenly from there on till the end of the movie. It never showed the growth of his sickness because ironically enough this is where I find him his strongest, when he is at his weakest. Does that make sense? because it does to me. I mean in the book he gradually got sick and it got worse yet as his sickness took over his body more and more his love for Hazel, for his life and existence grew stronger. 

- Augustus means Means “great” or “venerable”, derived from Latin augere ”to increase”. The irony of the name is that as his name is meant to be someone who is great, or becomes great or is consistently trying to be great, powerful and strong - in the story Augustus grows weaker. This was John Green’s reasoning to picking his name as well, but personally (as clever as this was for John Green) Although physically this was accurate, I will always feel like Augustus grew strong towards the end of his life. 

- I obviously understand that there isn’t enough time to showcase all of this in a 2 hour movie so I forgive them. 

- Can we just say that Isaac was hilarious (Thanks Natt) because his character was such an amazing comedic relief. He was perfect as Isaac and equally as heart breaking in the movie. I think his role really complimented Augustus as well. His Eulogy also made me sad, it was extremely hard to watch someone like Isaac who usually saw the light through everything actually shed that and looked deeper into his friendship with Augustus. Of course, Robot Eyes. He had to throw in a joke somewhere. 

- Van Houten (I learned how to pronounce his name properly now) was mean, ignorant, insane, brilliant and a complete ass. Just as he should have been, yet you could also see how broken he was, and you never find out till the end of the book/movie, but you always suspect that there is something that has snapped inside of him. The setting of his house was spot on btw, I appreciated the little details. The fan mail on the ground. Plenty of floating paper. It was how I pictured it in my imagination. 

- As a fan of this book for so long I was happy with the movie adaptation. As a movie in itself, I appreciate it. The book, I appreciate it. They compliment each other well and go hand in hand and that’s what I love. The movie was as accurate as it could be and it was more than I could have asked for. I really don’t think i’ll be able to fully explain why or how this book has affected me without getting too personal, but let’s just say it definitely pulled some major heart strings. 

Thank everyone who was behind this beautiful story. 

(Source: anselgifs)

140,579 notes | Reblog
3 months ago


Augustus in the airplane when it was taking off in The Fault In Our Stars movie is the cutest fucking thing ever. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS

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3 months ago

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3 months ago

"I’m a good person but a shitty writer, you’re a shitty person but a good writer."

-Augustus Waters (The Fault In Our Stars)

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3 months ago

confess here


confess here

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3 months ago

Divergent: Movie Rant-ish

After watching the movie, I’d have to say that I loved it. I was thoroughly impressed and happy with the adaptation, and I appreciate the movie separately from the book. OBVIOUSLY there are things that were done differently and parts missing but at this point it’s expected, it’s difficult to fit in pages of a story into a movie + everyone’s imaginations work differently so others expect different. I for one, was satisfied and love Shailene more than ever and have this new undying love for Theo. 

However, a part of me found that the book was more interesting. The plot had more heart.

In the book Tris (in my opinion) was never portrayed as “dauntless” from the get go. Yet all of a sudden just became dauntless (In the movie)

Tris was portrayed very abnegation if I remember correctly, but she just didn’t want to BE it anymore or didn’t feel like she belonged. Once she got into dauntless, she realized just how not dauntless she was, not that she was. And so she developed her multiple traits over time, this is how she became more and more divergent. Really wish they hadn’t taken the easy way and just made her always super dauntless and divergent. It almost feels like there wasn’t any character development. 

My growing library.

My growing library.

Just a typical Friday night for me.

Just a typical Friday night for me.

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